I want to be a transformer

New day. New Season.

2008-10-27T05:06:00.000-07:00

I have a new blog!!!! Check out - http://annamicolowsky.blogspot.com/.

Love to all!

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

2008-04-03T22:36:00.000-07:00

ok - so it's 12:37am and I know I have not been loyal to posting... but if you read this and can help me, I'd be SO Blessed!!!!

Hey! So here’s the deal. Most of you have gotten an email from you letting you know that Gateway Worship has a new cd coming out (Wake Up the World, coming out April 8th! Check out the widget to hear the songs at http://www.myspace.com/gatewayworship)

I was so honored to be apart of the choir! And b/c of that Ingrity Music has asked us to be apart of the street team to promote the cd. Here’s what I need from you! Whoever does the most of specific promotions gets a big prize! I really want the big prize!!!! It’s an iPhone! :-) I know – the only thing in it for you is helping me and you being apart of spreading the news. Thanks for considering and for helping.

MYSPACE –

Can you add Gateway Worship as your top friend?
Can you make a Gateway Worship song as your song on your myspace?

OTHER SITES –
Can you add the “Wake Up the World” Widget on your Myspace or facebook or blogspot… or other website!?!?!?

Can you put the YouTube commercial (http://youtube.com/watch?v=lMjN2ZGaUJg ) on your Myspace or facebook or blogspot… or other website!?!?!?

If you can, please email me back after you’d done it and I can count you as my points!!!!

Thanks so much. Y’all are the BEST friends anyone could ask for.
Bless you!
Anna

2008-03-17T21:44:00.000-07:00

Gateway Worship

2008-03-17T21:40:00.001-07:00

Hey all!!! The Gateway Worship cd comes out April 8th! It was such an amazin night of worship and it was So powerful! You don't want to miss this cd!

Check it out!

http://www.myspace.com/gatewayworship

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMjN2ZGaUJg

Family School

2008-02-10T20:53:00.000-08:00

Well - It's been WAY TOO long since I've blogged. Last month I moved in with the greatest family I know, the Graves' Family. They have 5 amazing kids, Hannah (9), Joseph (7), Sarah (4), Rebekah (2), and John (20mnths). It's a very large house to fit us all and their amazing "super nanny" Katie. Katie and I share our own little suite upstairs :) It was a huge transition for me to get rid of my bed and move to a 2 twin beds (aka college dorm set up). It's that thing that you're letting go and going what seems to be the opposite of where you long to me :) It's been wonderful but also stretching to deny yourself and serve others. Ther'es so much peace and grace and it seems like I learn a new "God" lesson every hour :)

Katie is so much fun. It's so great being roomates. We use to kill eachother, but years later, we're super close and God uses her in my life every day!

Katie was trying to show Hannah a fun dance move... we had so much fun! Oh - and Katie dances every week now that she's move to the Dallas area ;)

I've had a blast with each of the kids and have enjoyed taking Hannah on a fun date and tonight Joseph and I went to Super Target to buy Nightwatch Optiums Prime. :)

I posted way more of my pictures on my facebook account - here

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=14312&id=694738631

I also turned 28 yesterday... wow, 28. Kinda sobering :) I'm in a lesson with the Lord of just being truly content with where He has me and trusting Him with everything. Letting go of every desire and knowing that HE being a good God will never just forget about me :)

We also threw Melissa a babyshower yesterday (Props to Katie on the food and to Nicole for her awesome hostest skills. )

Here are just a few pics (and there's more on facebook!)

So - I'm gonna stop posting these pics, since I realized you can all see them on facebook!!!

Good night to all! More on the amazing family school lessons later!

SKULLS WIN!!!

2007-11-19T19:36:00.000-08:00

That's right! Our amazing PINK team won the Seven Flag football playoffs! It was awesome to see all of our plays executed in almost perfection :) Our girls were displayed no mercy with our interceptions and tackles. Here's to all our fiercer guys and their great touchdowns! Final score - 22 to 19. And as we always pray... "Thank you Jesus, once again for allowing us to dominate and for keeping everyone safe. In Jesus Name, Amen. 3-2-1 - SKULLS!!!

Getting Sick

2007-11-14T19:00:00.000-08:00

Somwhere between getting sick yesterday at 4am and trying to sleep it all off I just smiled to myself. Ok, I must have officially become an adult becuase while lying there dog sick I found joy in it. I thought about how our bodies were made to go through physical illness. They fight it off and become stronger. It encouraged me. I guess our spirits were meant to go through battles and come out stronger as well. To say the least, I'm so glad to be among the living.

Last Friday night I was truly amazed and thankful I got to attend a night of worship at our church called Beyond the Veil. Basically we went through the Mosaic Tabernacle elements of worship as a model of coming into God's Presence. That sounds so stiff, but it was truly one of the most amazing times of worship I've ever been apart of. One part of the night was each person wrote down their sins and iniquities taht they wanted to nail to the cross. There were crosses all over the room. This is just one of the crosses. It reminded me of a ladies retreat iwent to a year or so ago. I remember trading my biggest fear for God's promise. I'm still holding onto His promises and I am so thankful that my sins are nailed to the cross and covered by the blood of Jesus. I must admit that on Saturday when Brady Boyd (former Executive Pastor at Gateway, now Senior Pastor at New Life Church in CO) spoke a goodbye message and he spoke about the redemption God brought to Ruth, my heart sank. I've truly struggled that I deserve to be redeemed. Of course none of us deserves to be redeemed, I've just been so ashamed of my past that I've forgotten that God cleanses me from my sin. Shame is a horrible tool of the enemy and I don't want it to have any room to lie to me anymore. I love this picture because it reminds me that my sins are gone and washed away... now that's something to be thankful for.

Saturday night I had a blast at the M party... what's that you ask? Well, a group of friends are starting a huge business to connect people together... sort of a myspace thing but much more than that. So they had their first event in a Mansion (hence the M)... I had a BLAST! I just love meeting people and there were so many great people from churches and non-profit ministries.... I had so much fun!!!! Here are a few girls I play flag football with... I know what you're thinking :) Yes, we get tough when we're on the field dispute our girly images :)

This is Elisa... she is stinkin amazing. She just moved here from Oregon and was also on staff with her church before moving. We work out together now (yeah! I have a new membership to 24 hour fitness!) She calls me out on my insecurities. She's so much fun and loves Jesus!!! I am so blessed by her new friendship :) she even did my eye makeup for our big party! :)

Sat and Sund. the Graves came up to go to church and scout out the land... so I got to watch all 5 kids on Sunday!!!! We had so much fun! They were so happy to obey and they cracked me up playing dress up in Melissa and Joe's closet :) So, I don't have my own kids, so I have to blog about the next best thing :)

After a long day of watching the kids, John and Nicole surprised me with a Happy Nov. 11th gift. If you've known me for a while you know last year was a "big" day for me... and approaching Nov. 11 has been hard. I truly trust God, yet it's a battle in my head to press toward the mark of His high calling (Phil 3:12). They came in with a beautiful watch from Fossil (also apart of the last year) with a precious card. Everytime I look at the watch I'm to remember that God's timing is perfect. :) I truly felt like God was reaching down and telling me that He loves me... no matter how I've messed up and that He still has His bless for me... just recieve. Here's to His purpose and His love.

2007-10-28T20:33:00.000-07:00

Romans 8:15 (MSG)
This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NLT)
16 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are[a] being renewed every day. 17 For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! 18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

I just got back from a weekend with the best spiritual family God could ever give a girl. I feel restored in hope and it's not what hey did that made the difference but what God is doing. This is a hard season in my life. The letting go and trusting Him, feeling like, "what else can I give you, Lord?" This week seemed to bring all of my hurt to a point of anger. My wonderful spiritual dad was going through a similar emotion and pointed me (and the kids in a bed-time lesson when one of the kids didn't want to go to bed) to what Jonah experienced when he was angry at God. Check out Jonah 4... ultimately our "human anger does not produce God's righteousness in our lives."

As I prayed today and worshiped God with some of the most amazing kids on the planet, and felt God restore my hope. As I drove home his word, "Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge God, and He will make your path straight, " resounded in my heart and mind.

I am truly thankful that God is a God of hope and restoration in the midst of every circumstance. All glory to Him.

Beautiful worship!

2007-10-26T21:00:00.000-07:00

Wow!!!! This is amazing!!! I think Hillsong is leading the church at just the tip of our potential to that we can give offerings to God! This is a beautiful display of giving Him glory!!!!

Praise You my Jesus!

Hillsong Conference 2007 Opening
Uploaded by ajchz

Where's the PEACE!!!!

2007-10-21T19:35:00.000-07:00

I've wrestled all day... This season has had such major ups and downs. Here's part of an email I sent to my aunt Helen tonight-

Financial class was good tonight, but a little sad for a single 27 year old. We talked about life insurance policies as well as other insurance policies. It's good and I feel well equipped but at the same time I just prayed all the way home just asking God to show me what the heck He's doing with my life :) I just wrestled with Him for a blessing... I feel much like Jacob. I know God has brought me to this place and I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but for what? I have so many dreams and desires for a family. I fully trust God that He has rescued me and that He knows best, but PLEASE LORD!!!! I want a family of my own... I just keep thanking God that HE must be preparing something great and bringing me and whoever my future husband is to a place that we will be ready to do all God has in store...

I received a very awesome prophetic word at church last Sunday night. It was truly encouraging about how God is about to do all the things I know He's spoken to my heart and that He's taking the "lid off". My prayers possibly sound like doubting..."God, I trust You and love you and You are my only hope. Why did you allow me to come to this place? Why did you allow my dear friends to get married and give me the words you've given me, brought me to a new city and then took away the relationship I thought you brought to fulfill your promises to me? But I trust You... I trust that whatever you have in store is better than I could dream up. I choose to put on the garment of praise instead of a spirit of heaviness. But Lord! why so many struggles? What am I to focus on and believe for? Lord, I trust You!" I resolve that He is good and He will bring His perfect plan in His loving time.

These pictures are long over-due... but they’re all backward… I couldn’t get them to come in the right order!!!

Bekah is so cute with Bailey Lo's sweet boxer :)

Noel, me and Katie :) I love these girls!!!!!

Nicole as "Miss Kitty" Yes... she kept this in her hair all day and it became very hard to take her seriously :)

yep... the Graves' kids are all texan ;) and ready for the treasure hunt! A Graves birthday tradition... I like to claim starting that with Hannah for her 8th birthday :)

Sarah on her 4th birthday!!!! She's ready for her cowgirl party!

Here's sweet little Sarah in her big trip to Dallas with just mom and dad to her finger checked out... :) I was so blessed to get to see them for dinner :)

This is my precious Noel... It's been fun having her live here. She's getting an apartment soon and I'll miss her!!! Ok, so we'll still hang out and I might live with her eventually... but we'll see :)

The end. :)

I'm ruined

2007-09-29T21:35:00.000-07:00

Tonight Mel and Joe and I watched Beyond the Gates, a movie about the genocide in Rwanda in 1994. Last night was about Muslim extremists and tonight about Africa... my heart is breaking for the people of the world. I walked in the bathroom and looked in the mirror at my expensive highlights I pay for every 6 weeks. Don't get my wrong, I know there's nothing wrong with enjoying the freedoms we have in our great nation. We are very blessed... but what am I doing with the life I've been blessed with? I greatly desire to be a wife and a mom when God brings that time... I greatly desire to be apart of a church that is transforming those in the area and impacting the world... but I greatly desire to have God's heart for the nations and to never loose His intense passion for His people in the stuff of a blessed nation.

James Robison gave his testimony tonight at church. He's so very anointed. As he talked about when he was saved and set free from sin about 50 years ago, the passion and love in his voice portrayed he not only that he hasn't forgotten that day, but his thankfulness for his salvation has grown. It's grown so much that he's impacting the world through his very large ministry.

OH GOD!!!! Please don't let me get so numb to the pain around the world in my back yard, and in the nations, that I forget and just go day to day in my own life. Please Lord, help me to trust You with my heart and with my future, so that my future and heart's desires don't become distractions from hearing Your voice and obeying You with love and compassion for all of the people You have created.

The Kingdom

2007-09-28T21:44:00.000-07:00

I went to see the movie THE KINGDOM tonight with Miriam and Noel. The entire movie I was tense and feeling the emotion of what was going on. I would hate to spoil the movie for anyone and say anything about it. I love to see a movie without knowing much about it to get the most out of the experience.

I will say that I was so moved by this film. The power of the possibility of what can happen and has happened to the lives of so many due to the hatred of Muslim extremists. It broke my heart. I cried out to God, (the one who sent Jesus Christ as His Son and our sacrifice) "What is our purpose? What can we do, Lord?" I truly believe that we can change the world by living Godly lives right where we are. If we reach our neighbor who reaches a kid down the road who lives for Jesus and ends up fighting in a war for God, then we have a part in it. I want the world changed and the extremists to feel the love of Jesus before they are indoctrinated with death. I pray that I'm doing my part.

I feel like I'm in a season of rebuilding... of resting... of waiting. I wanted so desperately to go on an outreach our church has tomorrow. But I couldn't go. I have so many responsibilities right now, to add another isn't serving the best. I keep getting a picture of Jesus when Mary asked him to turn the water into wine. He told her it wasn't his time yet. I want to do miracles for God the Father... and I feel like He's whispering to my ear, "It's not time. Rest in the cleft of my rock and be satisfied with Me." Yet another strong mandate... be satisfied with only God.

Here's to the only true Kingdom that has all authority and victory.

Mandate from dad

2007-09-24T19:44:00.000-07:00

I've talked about how blessed I am to have spiritual parents, but no words really would ever convey how much God uses them in my life. Usually it's in the most unexpected ways and in the the doing of life.

Last week, while I was on the phone with Nicole, her 3 year old daughter Sarah was starting to whine. Nicole calmly told her it was too early to start the day off whining. Then she lovingly told herself to take control of her emotions and to calm down. If a three year old can get control of her emotions, as a 27 year old young woman I have no excuse. ;) But it's true. I've recently heard different men of God compliment women for how they continue in life due to the rocking our emotions can try to take a toll on us. We could try to say we can't help it, and yet our battle isn't against "flesh and blood enemies" (Eph. 6:12) Our spirit can help it... it can rise up in soundness of mind and calm the emotions of our flesh and allow our hearts to hear the pure sweet voice of God lead us through the emotions.

Then today in small email John was asking a favor for us to run in Dallas. His closing statement which had nothing to do with the email was, "Stay pure. Stay focused and full of joy." I pondered that statement all day long and until tonight. What a mandate. It's not burdensome but very heavy, weighing down and causing me to look up to the Father and desire to please Him with everything I have. It seems like all of the many things I have going on or the personal accomplishments just fade away. The real tasks are to stay pure, stay focused, and walk full of joy.

Here are a few pictures of what's been going on the last few weeks :)

This is at Medieval Times to celebrate Janna's birthday! I have had so much fun hanging out with Janna and Lory! (That's Lory's sister on the left).

Happy birthday Janna!

This is my dear friend Michelle, from work! She's SO great! I love how we trade scriptures, encouragement and just plain fun. :) Angela (the tallest of us all) is with us for 3 weeks training to go back to South Africa as a photo journalist. She has been great to get to know!

The Gateway Live Worship recording was AMAZING!!!! I literally felt God transforming my heart in the midst of worshiping Him!!! It was so powerful! And what a blessing it was to have Stephen, Tandra, Tara and Jeremy come up from Longview! This is Tara, Kim Soto (one of Tandra's other bridesmaids who lives 20 min from me!) Tandra, Me and Noel. You can see them tearing the stage down behind us.

Have I mentioned that Noel is staying with us for a while till God opens up a home for her??? :) It's been super fun having her stay with us, although I'm sure my need for space at times might drive her crazy. :) As she starts her real estate job here, we're believing God to open the right permanent home for her in His timing :) Till then, we share everything!!!! :) Her heart for God and worship bless me each day. :)

Here's me and MY Tandra... that's right Stephen! She's still mine! I can only say that because I know he doesn't read my blog ;)

And here's the BEST spiritual sister and spiritual-brother-in-law God could ever give me. On Saturday we went to Jason and Bella's apartment to celebrate Bella's birthday.

I'm sorry I'm not posting the pictures of the Lucas'... I'm still learning my new camera and I didn't get any pictures I thought they'd want me to post for the world to see. It was a GREAT surprise to see all of the Lucas' and to see my dear friend Cori! :) I love her so :)

Then I was off to church where Taft was in town to connect with one of the awesome guys in children's ministry at Gateway. I was so glad to connect them and pray that Taft was encouraged as he goes back to Longview and pours into some of the most awesome kids I've ever known! (Kids on the Rock, "Get outta breath for Jesus!")

After dinner at Pei Wei I was off to Starbucks to meet up with the wonderful Becca Apple who was in Southlake helping out with Compassion International. :)

We have a long tradition of taking pictures with her sitting on my lap. :) Here's just 2 for your enjoyment.

Here's to wonderful friends and the new ones to come!

time flies when you're... BUSY!

2007-09-18T18:08:00.000-07:00

Wow... I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to give a little update. There's been so much going on.. from thing to thing.

Pink Impact was so awesome. I was very moved by Lisa Bevere and I was inspiried to believe God to use me as His redeemed daughter in powerful ways. Worship was truly powerful and it was great for my first time on the stage at Gateway. I remember my first times on each stage I've been apart of worship in a new house. This was certainly memorable as the women cried out and it was like God just washed over us with His tender love.

I was so proud of Melissa!!!!

She not only was over the planning of Pink Impact but she did an amazing job of MCing the entire event! I remember years ago when our accountibility group would cry out to God and talk about the things we felt called to. To see her up before 1500 women with such peace and joy was so encouraging... God does hear our cries and He does give us the desires of our hearts!

Isn't that a cute Melissa face! :)

I was also so impacted by Lisa's talk on being spiritual mothers. She really spoke to us about our roles as daughters, mothers, and grandmothers. And I got to sit by my spiritual mom!!!! I absolutly love Nicole and am so thankful for her. Most of the time she's like the best older sister anyone could ever want... but there are real times that she cares for my heart in such a powerful way that I know it's God ministering through her to reach my heart in a new way. I'm so thankful for her and would not be where I am without her!

On friday we have the live recording at Gateway so I'll be out of commission for a few days due to rehearsal!!!! It's going to be such a powerful night unto the Father!!!

my new camera is in and it's been a long week so here we go...

2007-09-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

I am really enjoying having a camera!!!! On Labor Day I had a blast visiting my ol' roommate Tara. It was a classic 1413 Fairmont night of staying up late for a wonderful heart to heart. I just love that girl. It was heart warming too for me to be in that house. I truly loved my roommates and the year that I was there. The peace of God is there and just to be in the living room where I had many times with God on my face crying... it brought back so many memories of what He's done and encouraged me in what He is going to do. I was about to post our picture, but it was taken at 2am... not going to do it. :)

Then I got to see Tandra and Stephens newly (and still in the process of) remodeled home. I wasn't quite remembering I have a new camera so the only picture I took wasn't a good one. But their house is great and they are great :) There's something about being with familiar friends that you love and adore.

Off to the lake where I was greeted so sweetly by Hannah with a yell and a big hug. Sadly, baby John woke up because of it... AHHHH :) He was a little zonked all day with missing that nap! Here go some pictures!

I caught John at the computer :)

Bekah and John wrestling with Mom.

Bekah with Lo's new puppy!!!

Hannah and Joseph making funny faces with Enna :)

story time!!!!

Well - more pictures to come!!! And more to come on a life changing weekend - PINK IMPACT!!!

The Grand Exchange

2007-09-01T22:03:00.000-07:00

For a while now I've been in a new place in the midst of transition. God promised me almost 10 years ago that whatever I leave for Him, He'll give me one hundred times more (Matt 19:29). In every major transition God has done just that. So here I am in Grand Praire and Southlake, Texas. I'm able to let go of everything in the past, good and bad, and embrace a new life. If I use to be stressed at work, well now I can let go of those stressful patterns and pick up new ways of doing things.

The hard part about transition is that place where you're not at point A any more but not quite at point b. For the Israelites that was the wilderness. They were free from slavery but not yet at the promised land. I truly believe that time in the wilderness was for several reasons... God didn't just put them there to eat manna. They were out of slavery but now it was time for slavery to be out of them. They had to be in a place where God could supply all they needed and where they would obey him in little, so that they would obey him in the big things.

I know, I know. I'm in some wilderness... working in beautiful Southlake at an incredible company, living with one of my best friends, going to an amazing church... but my heart and mind are constantly fighting. Today I woke up wanting the past so badly. I immediately prayed and praised and told God I trust Him. The emotions just increased throughout the day to the point were I was crying in the Forever 21 dressing room wishing I was back where everything seemed perfect... I wasn't battling my weight 3 months ago. I thought the next major life change was going to happen. I told God I don't want to go back, but I do! And I don't know where we are going! Help me!

I arrived at church only to start crying when Melissa asked me how I'm doing. The tears reached the point where they couldn't be contained. I entered worship with everything I have. Either God is worthy all the time or He isn't. Several times I cried but I had to praise Him to exchange all the turmoil inside. After the service another friend asked me how I'm doing.... tears continued to come.

Then I went do dinner with a great group from church (I only drank my lovely 2nd mug of green tea). Afteward, a few of us girls sat outside by the fountain in the Towne Center. One of the girls felt like she had a word of encouragement for me. She said she saw me in worship and felt like God showed her my heart... she also said that though I feel like I'm in a wilderness, I won't stay there long. WHAT JOY TO MY HEART!!!!!

I then remembered talking with my dear friend Mai earlier this week. We talked about how we can exchange our sorrows for joy... and what struck us both was that we can trade our desperation for His satisfaction. We also looked at Psalm 34:19, "The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time."

I am so thankful that God traded my pain for His love and complete satisfaction and the hope of the promised land... and that He rescued me tonight. I may need Him to rescue me again tomorrow... but I know He'll do it.

I will wait for the Lord

2007-08-30T21:31:00.000-07:00

Psalm 34

6 – In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles.

9b – for those who fear him will have all they need.

14b – Search for peace, and work to maintain it.

17 The Lord hears his people when the call to him for help.
He rescues them from all their troubles.

19 – The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue each time.

22 – But the Lord will redeem those who serve him.
No one who takes refuge in him will be condemned.

oh emotions....

2007-08-29T11:12:00.001-07:00

Today has proved to be a difficult one on my emotions. The past has tried to remind me of it and for me to entertain the what if's and the should haves. I think I'm beginning to realize how much this new season away from everything I've known for the last several years is truly from God. There's a new rest I long for. I know in the wilderness, set free from slavery but not yet to the promised land. There's a lot that God wanted to root out in His people during that time. He had to change their minds from slavery where everything is done by force and there's no choice to being able to choose the conquer giants that God tells you He will slay through you.

Thank you to my dear friends who prayed today.

2 Peter:1:3-4
By his divine power God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the worlds corruption caused by human desire.

Isaiah 54

Future Glory for Jerusalem

1 “Sing, O childless woman,
you who have never given birth!
Break into loud and joyful song, O Jerusalem,
you who have never been in labor.
For the desolate woman now has more children
than the woman who lives with her husband,”
says the Lord.
2 “Enlarge your house; build an addition.
Spread out your home, and spare no expense!
3 For you will soon be bursting at the seams.
Your descendants will occupy other nations
and resettle the ruined cities.
4 “Fear not; you will no longer live in shame.
Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you.
You will no longer remember the shame of your youth
and the sorrows of widowhood.
5 For your Creator will be your husband;
the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name!
He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel,
the God of all the earth.
6 For the Lord has called you back from your grief—
as though you were a young wife abandoned by her husband,”
says your God.
7 “For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with great compassion I will take you back.
8 In a burst of anger I turned my face away for a little while.
But with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,”
says the Lord, your Redeemer.

honesty

2007-08-24T21:32:00.000-07:00

After a long night of sweet Madi nudging me every 2 hours that she woke up, I'm pretty tired... but it's FRIDAY! It's the weekend! Wahoo! :)

Today I had a powerful moment when I was crying out to God to teach me to encourage myself in the Lord as David did. The Word says that a good dad won't give you a stone if you ask for bread. How much greater will God give to His children what they are asking for??? Even though I don't know what God is doing more than ever, more than ever I have a great sense that He's going before me and preparing the way.

I just enjoyed a peaceful dinner with my two dear friends Katie and Noel. Then we went for a walk and just talked and enjoyed the beautiful night. Katie an I discussed so much about Abraham and Sarah and how we are trusting God to complete His promise. We talked about character and about what we long to be and look for in a godly marriage.... I said something that stuck with me as we talked about common struggles that men go through...

"Honesty is the hope that leads to freedom." I firmly believe that...

There you have it... my profound statement of the year ;)

I'm off to sleep. I pray Madi sleeps till at least 6am!!!! :)

Soon you'll see pictures!

2007-08-23T20:48:00.000-07:00

that's right! my new 9.1 mega pixel camera will be shipped tomorrow (3 to 7 buisness days).... I really love my dear friend Michawn and I want to keep her informed visually since she's all the way in Brazil. Pictures will be a comin'!

Psalm 18

2007-08-17T04:54:00.000-07:00

Psalm 18 (NLT)

1 I love you, Lord;
you are my strength.
2 The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
and my place of safety.
3 I called on the Lord, who is worthy of praise,
and he saved me from my enemies. 4 The ropes of death entangled me;
floods of destruction swept over me.
5 The grave[a] wrapped its ropes around me;
death laid a trap in my path.
6 But in my distress I cried out to the Lord;
yes, I prayed to my God for help.
He heard me from his sanctuary;
my cry to him reached his ears.

7 Then the earth quaked and trembled.
The foundations of the mountains shook;
they quaked because of his anger.
8 Smoke poured from his nostrils;
fierce flames leaped from his mouth.
Glowing coals blazed forth from him.
9 He opened the heavens and came down;
dark storm clouds were beneath his feet.
10 Mounted on a mighty angelic being,[b] he flew,
soaring on the wings of the wind.
11 He shrouded himself in darkness,
veiling his approach with dark rain clouds.
12 Thick clouds shielded the brightness around him
and rained down hail and burning coals.[c]
13 The Lord thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High resounded
amid the hail and burning coals.
14 He shot his arrows and scattered his enemies;
his lightning flashed, and they were greatly confused.
15 Then at your command, O Lord,
at the blast of your breath,
the bottom of the sea could be seen,
and the foundations of the earth were laid bare.

16 He reached down from heaven and rescued me;
he drew me out of deep waters.
17 He rescued me from my powerful enemies,
from those who hated me and were too strong for me.
18 They attacked me at a moment when I was in distress,
but the Lord supported me.
19 He led me to a place of safety;
he rescued me because he delights in me.
20 The Lord rewarded me for doing right;
he restored me because of my innocence.
21 For I have kept the ways of the Lord;
I have not turned from my God to follow evil.
22 I have followed all his regulations;
I have never abandoned his decrees.
23 I am blameless before God;
I have kept myself from sin.
24 The Lord rewarded me for doing right.
He has seen my innocence.

25 To the faithful you show yourself faithful;
to those with integrity you show integrity.
26 To the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the wicked you show yourself hostile.
27 You rescue the humble,
but you humiliate the proud.
28 You light a lamp for me.
The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness.
29 In your strength I can crush an army;
with my God I can scale any wall.

30 God’s way is perfect.
All the Lord’s promises prove true.
He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
31 For who is God except the Lord?
Who but our God is a solid rock?
32 God arms me with strength,
and he makes my way perfect.
33 He makes me as surefooted as a deer,
enabling me to stand on mountain heights.
34 He trains my hands for battle;
he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow.
35 You have given me your shield of victory.
Your right hand supports me;
your help has made me great.
36 You have made a wide path for my feet
to keep them from slipping.

37 I chased my enemies and caught them;
I did not stop until they were conquered.
38 I struck them down so they could not get up;
they fell beneath my feet.
39 You have armed me with strength for the battle;
you have subdued my enemies under my feet.
40 You placed my foot on their necks.
I have destroyed all who hated me.
41 They called for help, but no one came to their rescue.
They even cried to the Lord, but he refused to answer.
42 I ground them as fine as dust in the wind.
I swept them into the gutter like dirt.
43 You gave me victory over my accusers.
You appointed me ruler over nations;
people I don’t even know now serve me.
44 As soon as they hear of me, they submit;
foreign nations cringe before me.
45 They all lose their courage
and come trembling from their strongholds.

46 The Lord lives! Praise to my Rock!
May the God of my salvation be exalted!
47 He is the God who pays back those who harm me;
he subdues the nations under me
48 and rescues me from my enemies.
You hold me safe beyond the reach of my enemies;
you save me from violent opponents.
49 For this, O Lord, I will praise you among the nations;
I will sing praises to your name.
50 You give great victories to your king;
you show unfailing love to your anointed,
to David and all his descendants forever.

it's me...

2007-08-16T20:23:00.000-07:00

ok - I know - so I'm posting this so I can add it to my profile pic... I'm not cool enough to do it any other way. :) looks kinda like a school pic, huh? :) It's my work photo... in a few days I'll be on the website as one of the employees! :)

Jason and Serena

2007-08-16T06:23:00.000-07:00

Superman and his new bride on the way out! :)

Blessed be the Name of the Lord

2007-08-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

"You Give and take away. My heart will choose to say, 'Blessed be the Name of the Lord.'" That's a powerful line from an amazing worship song. It's hard at times to choose to bless Him when our hearts are hurting. But then when you take your eyes off of yourself and upon His amazing love and grace it's life changing to bless Him inspite of everything. Those very words coming out of your mouth straight from a faith-filled heart transform everything. I'm so thankful in every situation that God has given me so much inspite of all of the unknown. BLESSED BE YOUR NAME LORD!

THe wedding was fun. Being with so many friends from Longview felt like I was family. They are family :) The wedding was so fun including Jeremy not having the ring (Linda had to slip him hers). So when Jason's bride, Serena was asked to say "I do" she looked confussed at the ring on her finger and a "I think so" came out... of course she then said, "Oh yes!" Then as they proceeded down the isle as Mr. and Mrs. Marrone the superman theme began to play and Jason rips off his tie, rips open his shirt, and a superman logo is on his shirt proudly displayed as they walked down the isle. :)

Too much fun. :) After that, I joined new friends to a wonderful dinner in Ft. Worth at Riata's... on the roof-top! It was so nice to see downtown Ft. Worth and meet new friends. Church on Sunday, a time of resting and the weekend was complete. I'm so inlove with Jesus... how could I ever doubt that He knows what He's doing... even when I'm not sure.

spending time with myself and one other

2007-08-10T20:24:00.000-07:00

Friday night and I've had the best time at home. I worked out, enjoyed a hot bath, toast and jam, resting on the couch with a few books, my bible, and sweet worship music. I needed this tonight. I need people and I need the fun recreation that I've been so thankful to have, but there's something powerful that happens when we sit at the Master's feet. All that you feel you have to offer falls away. Then in your realization of how little you have to offer the King of Kings, He reaches down, sweetly whispers He's here with you.. and says what He wants is you.

Wait... is that the door I hear? Oh yeah, the 6 people staying in the apt tonight are on their way. :) It was nice while it lasted. :)

ok - this is for Michawn - Tandra and Stephen are on their way here. We're driving to Jason Marrone's wedding in the morning. Our dear friends who are newlyweds, Kenny and Lindsey are staying here too. Joe and Melissa went with them to a Rangers game. :) More to come!

I repent…

2007-08-05T20:33:00.000-07:00

For the last week or so I’ve let sorrow over take me. I’ve taken my eyes off of the love of God. I was sending an instant message to a dear friend confessing that I’m having a hard time expressing faith. She said, “Faith in what?” And then it hit me. I replied a very surface answer that I’m having trouble trusting God for the future, but what hit me was that I was confessing that I was giving myself permission to not have faith in God. I mulled over that and then went to a powerful rehearsal for the worship choir I’m going to be apart of… again it hit me. I’ve had my eyes on me, on my circumstance, on what I want. What a fool I’ve been and even let myself walk down that road! I took my eyes off of God and just let my heart ache over emotions and thoughts of “what if?”.

God, I’m so sorry. You are trustworthy. I know you don’t despise those who cry out for help to believe you or help in anyway, but I’m so sorry I’ve not trusted You. You are the great provider, Jehovah Jireh. I confess that I’ve prayed the prayers of confession of who You are with my lips but my heart has been far from trusting You.

I thought about how much I desire to be married and how much my circumstance hurts. Gently I felt like the Lord just whispered to me that I’ve been selfish. Just like I admit to Him that I struggle sometimes to think of others and keep others as my motivation, He showed me that my desire for marriage is for me. Then He said my future marriage isn’t and won’t be about me. Yes, I’ll be blessed beyond measure. Yes, I’ll reap love. But it’s not about me. It’s not about my future husband. It must and will be about what God wants to happen. It must and will be about advancing His Kingdom in me, my future husband, my future children and grandchildren… it will be about the church and the community that a holy marriage can impact. It will be about giving my life away and not so I will reap anything back.

Thank you Lord for Your love… Keep stripping away everything I find identity in. You alone are who I want to be identified by. We’ve got a long road to go… I’m glad you’re in it for the long haul.

You’re daughter, Anna Elise

The Simple Bride

2007-07-31T20:05:00.001-07:00

I received a phone call from some organization that said that they were "very excited to tell me what I had won from my recent registration." I called back intrigued at what I had registered for. When the nice lady answered and searched for my account she said they were a company called the simple bride... my heart sank. I politely told her that I had not registered for anything. She sweetly said someone I know must have registered me and then she asked if my fiance' lived in Longview since that's where the registration had me listed. I told her that relationship was no more and she apologized and would take me off their list.

"thank you. bye." click.

I just cried. "God, do you know how my heart hurts? I know You know what you're doing and you have your best in mind, but do you know what my heart feels right now?"

He sweetly answered, "Yes, my bride. You see I too long to marry my bride as you long to marry your prince. You asked me earlier for a burden for the lost and you asked me for the ability to care about those you know who are lost and if they do not choose me they will spend eternity apart from Me. I know how your hearts feels because the separation you feel in your heart is a small part of the separation I feel toward any one of my children who chooses another way."

I began to pray just a few moments later after arriving at my destination and was at place I could freely cry out. It was a different cry than I've ever experienced before. Most of my prayers for the night happened... but I have a new perspective on why. I don't believe it was as much that God wanted to do what I was asking Him. I believe He met me at my heart's pain, loved and related to me. When I came to Him in prayer I then had a new level of trust. I was able to cry out in more belief that He is who He says He is and I was able to pray His heart. So of course He answered!

I hope I'm learning to continue to come along side the King of Kings and trust that He's teaching my heart how to beat like His.

Fix You

2007-07-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

A dear friend, Michawn, sent me this song about 2 years ago when I went through one of the most difficult things my heart had ever faced. As I stumbled upon the song tonight it reminded me of her love and friendship. It reminded me that not only did I make it a few years ago, but I'm stronger now. I read the lyrics now and think about what we all go through in life. The ups and downs. The possible jobs that we wait and wiat for. The songs we desire to write, but they just don't come. The relationships that come and go... and take a peice of us that only God can fix.

My cry tonight is for His fixing. My cry is to know His power more and when I find myself again in a situation that turned out not how I thought it would, that I'd let God fix me again. After all, He's showing me what I'm worth - His life. His blood. His constant love.

Oh God, let me walk in humilty and boast only in the cross that Your Son Jesus carried for my sin and life. Thank you precious Jesus. Thank you Holy Spirit for filling me up.

FIX YOU - by Coldplay

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
"Just what your worth"

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream, down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Tears stream, down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I..

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

Ode to Braveheart

2007-07-29T19:53:00.001-07:00

After a long week and much to do I came home to Joe and Melissa sitting at home and enjoying their peaceful home. Joe was reading "Wild at Heart" and Melissa was journaling in her expectant mother's journal (it's so much fun to be with one of your best friends and seeing her change and grow... emotionally not physically. She's definitely still the fit and cute Mel :)) As we talk girl talk, Joe walks in with this male sparkle in his eye and is quite excited to say he'd like to rent the movie "Braveheart". Yep, "Wild at Heart" was stirring his masculine desire to accomplish great things.

Braveheart is was... in all it's blood, splendor, humility, courage, inspiration and beauty. As a woman I know Braveheart stirs in me to pray for our nation and the nations... it stirs great romance and sacrifice... it stirs desires for a prince who will sacrifice all for that which takes the highest price...

I can only imagine what it does for a man. Is it the desire to "pick a fight" as Wallace states (of course a fight that must be fought)... is it the desire to conquer and accomplish? Is it simply to matter to more than yourself?

Whatever the reasons may the Almighty, as stated in the movie, be honored by our pursuits for adventure and triumph. May His kingdom come.

And here she is... MADI!!!!

2007-07-23T19:44:00.001-07:00

I almost killed Madi

2007-07-23T18:26:00.000-07:00

It was a nice and hot Saturday afternoon. Not too hot. The clouds from the summer thunderstorms were passing over giving nice moments of shade and a cool breeze. Madi, my dear friend's dog, beautiful and strong looks up at me with her big green eyes, "Please Anna! Take me on a run with you!" Well I couldn't resist that. I announced to her mom and dad that we'd be back.

So we were off... Madi was pulling me like a horse. I think Weimeriner means horse in another language. We ran and ran. A few times I tried to slow Madi down. Ok, so I was tired of running... she kept going faster and faster. We'd not gone but a mile or so.

Madi then did a weird thing. She nipped at her back. I thought it was strange but she can be odd at times. She must just have an itch. Then again... nip. A few more steps. Nip. "Ok, Madi. Seriously... what's wrong with you?"

Then as if she was responding to me, Madi drops to the ground rolling around on her back as if she couldn't take it any more. At this point, doggie heat exhaustion seemed out of the question. I pulled her back up and told her we'd go home, but she had to keep going!

Then she dropped again on her back... this time she was looking for shady spots. Hum... is she overheated? (ok. ok. I know. I'm a little slow)

Then we crossed the street heading back to the apartment when she found shade and stopped, dropped and rolled! "MADI! Are you ok?" She laid there panting heavily. I knew she was ok, but there was NO way I could even pick her up, much less carry her back home.

People drove by staring at the strange girl hovering over a horse of a dog. Two ladies called out from their passing car. "Would you like some water for your dog?" "oh please!" I called back. They whipped around to bring me a SAMS bottled water the driver had just started drinking. They offered to drive us back, but I had to decline. We were both sweaty and honestly I knew Madi was ok. Plus there was no way I could pick her up and put her in the car!

So, I tried to get her to drink from a bottle... she refused of course. She just laid there panting and looking at me with her green eyes. "Anna, I wasn't really saying take me with you. You must have misunderstood me! Look at me here. I'm dying!"

A few moments later I got her to drink the water from the bottle. It was a hilarious sight. The a drop hit me. Madi was actually cooling off due to the storm cloud above us, but if it started raining it was all over. See, Madi hates the rain. She won't go in it at all! I had no idea what she would do!

"Madi! We have to go! Get up! We're going home!" I tugged and she laid there. One more try and she was up.

We made it home just before real rain came down. She flopped on the floor. I gave her water, but she didn't want it. She did however love the ice I fed her. :)

Praise God Madi's alive! Lesson learned: No more running in the heat with Madi no matter how much she asks to go.

Transformers... more than meets the eye

2007-07-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

So it's true. I went to see Transformers the Movie last night and I LOVED it!!!! I don't know if it's because it took me back to being a little girl, or if it was the awesome special effects, or if it was the funny one-liners... I do know it wasn't the adult/sexual references... Nonetheless... I loved it. I cheered hands in the air for Optimus Prime and the other autobots. I think I love fiction because you know it would never happen. You can just enjoy the story for what it is... pure fun.

So... after thinking about my love for those machines that turn from protectors of the human race to really awesome fast cars... I think about how we are called to be transformers if we know the one and only God who transforms those who believe on Him. I'm glad He's transformed me... from a girl who didn't know who she was growing up, starving for affirmation and security, to a woman who knows her God. I know He's full of love and honor for me! His love floors me. How could I ever want anything less. Autobots... roll out.